On a very special 25th episode, Mike, Tommy and Kevin give their 25 best quotes from the Mighty Ducks. The crew discusses and puts into context everything from “Cake Eater” to “Something about a shrinking sphincter.”
Our list of the 25 greatest Mighty Ducks Quotes
- “I’m sure Uncle Aaron will be very upset to hear we’ve been treated with such disrespect” — Greg Goldberg
- “No! It was me!” — Dean Portman
- “We either play…or play around” — Greg Goldberg
- “Cake Eater” — Jesse Hall
- “Yes sir, Mr. Ducksworth. Thank you very much, Mr. Ducksworth. Quack, quack, quack, Mr. Ducksworth!” — Gordon Bombay
- “Quack….quack…quack…Quack.” — Everybody
- “Why’d you turn against me, Gordon? For six year, I taughtcha how to skate, I taughtcha how to score, I taughtcha how to go for the “W’. You could’ve been one of the greats! And now look at yourself. You’re not a has been. You’re a never was.” — Coach Jack Reilly
- “Because it’s not worth winning if you can’t win big!” — Coach Jack Reilly
- “Keep swingin’, maybe you’ll give them a cold” — Gordon Bombay
- “Did USA always dominate?” — Fulton Reed
- “Get outta here before we use your eyeballs for hockey pucks” — Jesse Hall
- “GOLDBERG!” — Everybody
- “What happened to freedom of speech? Isn’t this America?” — Wolf “The Dentist” Stansson
- “What it is, it’s a loafer. And we’ll call it the Air-Bombay loafer. For kids who want to coach!” — Gordon Bombay
- “Hey Goldberg! I bet if that puck was cheeseburger you’d stop it!” — Russ Tyler
- “Team USA’s going down, that’s where you’re going” — Wolf “The Dentist” Stansson
- “You lost it for yourself! Let’s go shake their hands.” — Gunnar Stahl
- “My knee will heal. But if I become someone I’m not. If I sink to their level, then I’ve lost more than my knee.” — Gordon Bombay
- “Good work Captain Duck.” — Gunnar Stahl
- “Every time you touch the ice, remember that it was Hans who taught us to fly.” — Gordon Bombay
- “I told him that you were the heart of the team and that you would learn something from each other. I told him that you were the real Minnesota Miracle Man.” — Gordon Bombay
- “You guys are not skating like Warriors. You look like something else. You look like Ducks.” — Coach Ted Orion
- “Something about a shrinking sphincter.” — Russ Tyler
- “Waiter I have too many forks…I only need one…Y’all…It’s just.. Hey, what’s this li’l bitty one for?” — Dwayne Robertson
- “After we beat you, the Warriors die and the Ducks fly.” — Russ Tyler
Best Mighty Ducks quotes, sorted by movie
D1
- “Cake Eater” — Jesse Hall
- “Yes sir, Mr. Ducksworth. Thank you very much, Mr. Ducksworth. Quack, quack, quack, Mr. Ducksworth!” — Gordon Bombay
- “Quack….quack…quack…Quack.” — Everybody
- “Why’d you turn against me, Gordon? For six year, I taughtcha how to skate, I taughtcha how to score, I taughtcha how to go for the “W’. You could’ve been one of the greats! And now look at yourself. You’re not a has been. You’re a never was.” — Coach Jack Reilly
- “Because it’s not worth winning if you can’t win big!” — Coach Jack Reilly
- “Keep swingin’, maybe you’ll give them a cold” — Gordon Bombay
- “Get outta here before we use your eyeballs for hockey pucks” — Jesse Hall
- “GOLDBERG!” — Everybody
D2
- “I’m sure Uncle Aaron will be very upset to hear we’ve been treated with such disrespect” — Greg Goldberg
- “No! It was me!” — Dean Portman
- “Did USA always dominate?” — Fulton Reed
- “What happened to freedom of speech? Isn’t this America?” — Wolf “The Dentist” Stansson
- “What it is, it’s a loafer. And we’ll call it the Air-Bombay loafer. For kids who want to coach!” — Gordon Bombay
- “Hey Goldberg! I bet if that puck was cheeseburger you’d stop it!” — Russ Tyler
- “Team USA’s going down, that’s where you’re going” — Wolf “The Dentist” Stansson
- “You lost it for yourself! Let’s go shake their hands.” — Gunnar Stahl
- “My knee will heal. But if I become someone I’m not. If I sink to their level, then I’ve lost more than my knee.” — Gordon Bombay
- “Good work Captain Duck.” — Gunnar Stahl
D3
- “We either play…or play around” — Greg Goldberg
- “Every time you touch the ice, remember that it was Hans who taught us to fly.” — Gordon Bombay
- “I told him that you were the heart of the team and that you would learn something from each other. I told him that you were the real Minnesota Miracle Man.” — Gordon Bombay
- “You guys are not skating like Warriors. You look like something else. You look like Ducks.” — Coach Ted Orion
- “Something about a shrinking sphincter.” — Russ Tyler
- “Waiter I have too many forks…I only need one…Y’all…It’s just.. Hey, what’s this li’l bitty one for?” — Dwayne Robertson
- “After we beat you, the Warriors die and the Ducks fly.” — Russ Tyler
Other Show Notes
If you want more Mighty Ducks quotes, IMDB’s Mighty Ducks pages for D1, D2, D3 have them.
We talked about how much Goldberg sucked in Episode 22: Goldberg vs. Julie the Cat.
This is a Yodel:
Marcus Mariota doesn’t have a Twitter.
We talked about Jesse Hall’s in Episode 24: The sad saga of Jesse Hall.
The Air-Bombay loafer was discussed in Episode 23: Holiday Grab Bag!